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Kiss Me, Judas, by Will Christopher Baer
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Will Christopher Baer's hypnotic debut novel merges the best of the noir tradition with a scalpel-sharp modern sensibility. When ex-cop Phineas Poe is released from a six-month stay in a Denver psychiatric hospital, he meets a savage and unsentimental woman named Jude. After a drunken night with her, Phineas awakens in a bathtub packed with ice, holding a soggy note that reads "if you want to live, call 911." Jude has taken one of his kidneys. This phantasmagoric tale follows Poe as he pursues, and falls for, the mysterious Jude and is plunged into an edgy, drug-blurred underworld inhabited by a gleeful cast of sinister characters. Fast, furious, and glittering with a razor-sharp wit, this is a startling novel of modern noir.
- Sales Rank: #775442 in Books
- Published on: 2000-03-01
- Released on: 2000-03-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.72" h x .76" w x 5.12" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 268 pages
Amazon.com Review
In his extremely dark but very effective first thriller, former cabdriver and homeless counselor Will Christopher Baer takes that old urban legend of the man who wakes up in a hotel bathtub full of ice to discover that somebody has removed one of his kidneys and whips it up into a modernized Edgar Allan Poe nightmare. Baer's hero is in fact called Phineas Poe--an ex-cop who spent six years digging up dirt in and on the Denver P.D.'s Internal Affairs Division. On his first night out after a nervous breakdown and a six-month stay in a psychiatric hospital, Poe is picked up by a prostitute named Jude who drugs his drink and deftly removes his kidney.
Poe heads for the Witch's Teat, a sex shop where his friend Crumb works. "Crumb isn't really a doctor. He does cheap abortions and gunshot wounds and even dental work for the mad and desperate," Baer writes in deceptively plain present-tense prose, which quickly mesmerizes like electronic music. "Crumb reads a lot. He has a closet full of old surgical textbooks and a lot of stolen equipment. And he doesn't try to fake you. If you come to him with a ruptured bowel or a crushed spine, he gives you a cup of tea and sends you to the hospital." Poe learns that his kidney has been replaced by a bag of heroin--which could kill him if it dissolves. Intent on retrieving his stolen organ, he traces Jude to a bowling alley called the Inferno. Strangely enough, with Jude he reluctantly discovers the chance of love and family that he thought was gone forever when his wife died. In lesser hands, this flash of light in a roomful of noir could easily have spoiled everything. But Baer makes it all seem as natural as whistling in the dark. --Dick Adler
From Publishers Weekly
Although there are obvious biblical allusions in Baer's stylized debut, this noir tale takes no clearly biblical route. The characters' names promise a governing metaphor: there's Jude, an alluring sociopath; Eve, a black-tongued lesbian; Rose White, a virginal med student; and a bowling alley called the Inferno. There's also a beautiful young man afflicted since birth with HIV (born to die) who begs for a kiss before his demise. Even the title foreshadows a betrayal of biblical proportions. Yet this unrelentingly dark story, set in Colorado and Texas, features mostly underworld characters and a surreal sense of reality. Narrator Phineas Poe, a former investigator for the internal affairs division of Denver's police department, offers only a hallucinatory account that is both compelling and confusing. Just released from a psychiatric hospital, he meets Jude, has sex and awakens in a tub full of ice. He discovers that she's cut into him and stolen one of his kidneys. Despite his weakened state, he tracks her down. On his way, he encounters the Blister, a corrupt cop who reveals that Jude replaced his kidney with a bag of heroin and is using him to smuggle dope. Should the bag dissolve, Poe will die. Should he remove it, he might find a bomb. On the other hand, Jude may be exploiting him as a live carrier of his other kidney for efficient delivery to the man with the money. Poe definitely has problems, not the least of which is the haunting memory of his wife's wretched death. His dilemma only worsens when he joins Jude in her nefarious career, falls in love with her and anticipates her betrayal. Yet she's not what she seems and where they ultimately end up provides this intriguing tale with a quirky, redemptive glow. Editor, Courtney Hodell; agent; Daniel Mandel. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Not for the faint of heart, Kiss Me, Judas starts off bloody and zooms nonstop to a gripping climax. Baer's minimalist debut novel is reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino film?dark, graphic, and twisted?but without the quirky humor. Phineas Poe, an ex-Internal Affairs cop, walks straight out of a mental hospital into his worst nightmare: after drinks with a mysterious woman, he comes to in a bloody, ice-filled hotel bathtub?missing a kidney. "If you want to live, call 911," reads the note left with him. Poe breaks out of the hospital in search of Jude, his seductress, unsure of whether he will kill her or have sex with her and then kill her. Flashbacks and hallucinations, drug-induced and otherwise, hint that Poe has more to deal with than organ-stealing vamps: namely, the bizarre circumstances of his wife's death. A paranoid thriller; for public libraries.?Christine Perkins, Jackson Cty Lib. Svcs., Medford, OR
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Poetically stunning
By Gregory A Powell
Will is Midas. He writes like a demonic angel. One of the best pure writers there are. He, Clevenger, SGJ, MZD, Palahniuk, Richard Thomas, all artists of the highest caliber. Do something good for yourself. Give your self a treat. Read this and be stunned.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Okay
By carol
Unanswered questions. This just left me with nothing. The why and what didn't get answered. But still interesting read, just could have closed out in a more detailed way. Lacked in ending, but the rest was amazing.
22 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
A Scary Love Story
By Logan Rapp
"Kiss Me, Judas" is summed up nicely by the author himself when he calls it a "scary love story." Many other authors would have used the basic premise of the storyline - the harvesting of one's kidney while the donor is alive and unwilling - to delve into the underbelly of today's black market, but Chris Baer uses it as a dark and gritty backdrop to the core theme he wants us to recognize, and that is of modern-day love and loss.
Baer writes the way everyone aspires to - brutally honest and open. When everyone else has the secrets of their hearts sealed in a box and guarded with sentries, Chris has his unlocked and painted on every page as if writing in his own journal. The things that we lack the courage to even whisper to ourselves are exposed and illuminated for all the world to see and reading it puts Baer's very soul in the limelight.
Each turn of the page slashes another razorblade across his wrist and we ache with every darkly heartfelt comment that Phineas makes. The aching of the protagonist is compelling and the constant questioning of what is real or imagined, true love or false hope, guilt or innocence, puts a ray of light into our own minds, into the questions that we subconsciously ask ourselves but we don't have the fortitude to actually ponder honestly.
Baer shows us how love can bring you to the brink of self-destruction, and how it can also pull you out of the depths. These pages are bruising to the soul, but ultimately cathartic. This is a novel that we need to read, because love is the only feeling that can make anyone fall, but it can keep us from falling, too.
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